


Noise

by MSpataro210



Series: Episodes from George Lucas High School [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Asexual Rey, Bisexual Finn, Bullying, First Order, Gay Poe Dameron, M/M, Rey kicks ass, and some nice references, angstier than the first story, coming out stories, heartwarming conversations, still has its funny moments, the use of one homophobic slur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5503199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MSpataro210/pseuds/MSpataro210
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn was ready to enjoy the relaxing day of doing nothing with his bestie and his boyfriend... until some ghosts from his past show up and shatter any chance of that happening.  Feeling lower than low, can Poe help his boyfriend overcome the demons that claw at his happiness?  Or will Finn let them take over?<br/>And while Poe is helping Finn, what will Rey do to help in her own special way?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Noise

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw how much you guys loved the first story I did called "Personal Touch", so I decided to make a sequel to it: this time we get a glimpse of Finn's perspective. I hope you guys like it! As said in the tags this one is a bit more angsty than the first, but it still has its adorable moments and some funny parts. Enjoy!

            It’s quiet.

            Finn leans his head back, taking a deep breath of fresh air, letting the nothingness surround him, envelope him: welcome him.

            It’s still a surreal feeling: doing nothing. He’s been out of his home for around two months, out of the First Order too, but he still feels the ache in his bones to be doing… something.

            There was never a moment of rest in his old life: conscripted into extracurricular activities and tutoring sessions at a young age. When your family is First Order, it was always work while fun was a foreign word the likes of which students need not know the definition. Finn thought he knew it once, when he was about seven; but a year later his parents found Spot and took him to the pound.

“No fair! I call foul!”

Finn re-tips his head forward, catching sight of two people on the grass in front of him. They’re not that far away, but so much so that he has to squint a bit to see them. One is tall, tanned, with brown bouncy curls atop his head. He’s got a sweater tied around his waist, and sweat clings to his black t-shirt. The other person is smaller, leaner, with her chestnut hair in a complex set of buns that have split ends flying out of them. She’s sweating as well, but the white tank is not as drenched as her opponent. Under her sneakered foot likes a ball: grey, beige, and orange. She smiles as if she’s the queen of the mountain.

            Finn can’t help but quirk a smile at the two. It’s been an hour since Poe produced the small ball and challenged Rey to a one-on-one game of soccer. Rey accepted with no hesitation: competitive at heart. Too bad she didn’t like rules, or she would have made a fierce addition to the sports teams at Lucas High. Finn decided to sit this one out, however, preferring to watch the two closest people in his life battle it out like modern-day gladiators.

            Rey Organa-Solo: his best friend in the whole wide world.

            Poe Dameron: his boyfriend, who he is on the path to loving more than anything.

            Just watching them like this, at each other’s throats, grass stains everywhere, brings a smile to his lips and warmth to his heart.

            Scenes like these make the sting of his parents’ rejection and his outcast branding hurt less than they should. They blanket words and memories that sometimes keep him up at night. Burn the ice out of his veins.

            That is, until a voice from behind rolls over him like a blizzard.

            “Well… look who it is!”

            Finn turns around, seeing some old classmates of his from First Order Academy. The uniform is a dead giveaway: press-iron white button-downs, charcoal gray ties, and blood red bottoms. There are five of them: two girls and three guys. He recognizes some of them. One was his partner in chemistry. Another lent him her pen when he left his in his locker. Phasma is there, the Student Body Vice-President and Captain of the school’s ROTC chapter. And at the head of the group, leading the pack is Kylo Ren: President to Phasma’s Vice.

            “Kylo,” Finn says calmly, seated, but muscles tense ready for anything, “what a surprise to see you.”

            “Same here,” he returns, lips curled up in an cruel imitation of a smirk, “I thought you’d be deep underground. It’s not like every drop out from the First Order walks away with their head held high.”

            “For that to happen, someone would have to had dropped out before him,” the boy on his right reminds him: his ex-lab partner. Looks like their bond was not covalent.

            “It’s not like I chose to drop out,” Finn says.

            “No… but you did choose something.”

            A chill runs down Finn’s spine.

            “I…I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Finn turns away, only to spin right into Phasma.

            “Are you sure?” she asks, sitting down right next to him, “Are you sure you don’t know the reason you had to drop out?” She swings her legs up to sit on his lap, playfully, “The reason your parents had to kick you out?”

            “Is it because of how this?” the other girl is at his other side, leaning over to lay her hands on his shoulders, over his jacket, “just doesn’t cut it anymore?”

            “I-I…” Finn mutters, sweat dripping down from his brow towards his ruddy cheeks. He’s shaking.

            “Hey!”

            Every head turns to see Poe and Rey, standing side by side. They are no longer playing, the toy abandoned at their feet.

            “Excuse me,” Kylo says from his position above Finn, hands at either side of the darker teen, trapping him in, “this is a private conversation.”

            “Doesn’t look like a conversation,” Poe says, moving closer, “it looks like torture.”

            “And if it is?” Kylo smirks, “what does it matter to you?”

            “It matters because that’s my boyfriend you’re harassing.”

            A stone drops in Finn’s stomach, his head falling until his chin hits his chest. Every ear around him is perked, and he can feel the claws sinking in already.

            “Boyfriend?” Phasma swings back down, “I didn’t know you had a _boyfriend_ already: how soon the teachings of the First Order are forgotten!”

            “Teachings?” Rey steps forward, “What are you twits talking about?”

            “Is that anyway to speak to those above you, girl?” Kylo moves around the bench to face the other two. Rey steps forward, squaring her shoulders back and meeting his stare with her own steel.

            “ _No one_ is above me,” Rey answers, “there are those who are my equal, but I see none here.”

            “Feisty,” Phasma runs her hands down Finn’s cheek, “I could see you chasing her skirt… but him?”

            “Hey,” Poe steps in, “I’m just as, if not more, feisty than her!”

            “Does it matter whose tail he’s chasing?” one of the boys says, “they’re still living in sin: not being members of the First Order Academy, that is.”

            “First Order?” Poe asks, “Finn you know these clowns?”

            “No,” Finn mutters, avoiding looking at anyone: friend _and_ foe.

            “Oh, don’t kid the jokes, Finn,” Kylo breaks his match with Rey to say, “you know us very well… as we know you.”

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Finn replies.

            “You don’t?” Kylo mocks, “I mean, we’ve heard all about you-from your parents that is.”

            The silence is thick, deadly: filled with things Finn can only imagine, things he knows he does not want to hear, but cannot help himself create in their voices.

            “Whatever those… people had to say,” Poe remarks, treading lightly, “ain’t true.”

            “So it isn’t true that Finn here had decided to live a life of sin, and in doing so threw away any semblance of family? Any shred of dignity? Distancing himself from the only people who had ever cared for him?” Kylo tells the group, playing at a façade of sadness.

            “Those aren’t the words I would choose…” Poe threatens, fists clenched.

            “They’re the words his parents chose,” Kylo says, craning his neck to look directly at Finn. Like caught in a tractor beam, Finn can’t look away: “As well as ungrateful, sinful, misguided, whore, fag-“

            Finn jerks upright, knocking Phasma and the girl off of him. He doesn’t stay any longer, water pooling in his eyes. He makes a mad dash away: anywhere but there.

            “Pathetic,” the girl dusts herself off, “he was never First Order material anyway.”

            “Don’t worry,” Kylo announces, “he’ll take care of himself soon enough, and that stain will be gone from our lives as if the red wine never spilled over.”

            “Why you-“ Poe advances, only to be blocked by Rey’s arm.

            “No,” she tells him.

            Poe gapes at her: “We can’t just let them get away with saying that!”

            “Yes, _you_ will,” she continues, “but I won’t. Go find Finn. He needs you with him more than he needs you here.”

            Poe looks at her, than off in the direction Finn ran to. He looks back, to nod, before dashing off at a faster pace: trying to catch his boyfriend before anything bad might happen.

            Rey turns to the assembled group, looking each of them in the eye as she surveys her fodder.

            “If I were you,” she says, “I’d apologize, leave, and never come back.”

            “You?” one of the boys scoffs, “you sure you want to do this? Don’t you want a big, strong _man_ to come and help you, you delicate flower?”

            Rey smirks: “The only flowers I see in this meadow are you pansies.”

            Phasma stands, addressing her cohorts: “I’ve got this.”

            She moves forward, hands balled into fists before takes her stance. Rey does not move. Phasma throws her first punch: her only punch.

            Rey jerks to the side, grabbing the fist with her one hand and pulling Phasma in to meet her incoming elbow. To help the pale blonde reach the ground faster, Rey sweeps her feet, and soon enough the tallest of the entire group is down: David has defeated Goliath.

            Rey cracks her knuckles: “Who’s next?”

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Poe feels like his legs are about to fall off, his every breath like knives to his lungs but he keeps on running. He is on a mission to find Finn, and he’ll be damned if he fails this one.

            He stops when he reaches Abrams Elementary, chest heaving with a heavy heart. And that’s when he sees him.

            The leather jacket that he knows in his soul, its shoulders drooped low, moving back and forth on the swing. Poe can’t see Finn’s face, but can see the tiny shakes his body is giving off, the slight bob of his head. He approaches the situation like he would a deer: calmly, putting one foot in front of the other slowly.

            He gingerly sits on the other swing, startling Finn enough for him to turn, letting Poe see what damage those jerks had really done. Twin tear stains, running down Finn’s brown puffy cheeks.

            What Poe wouldn’t have given to stay behind and make that jerk’s face as red as Poe’s vision is now, but Rey was right: Finn needs him. Too bad he doesn’t know _what_ he can do for Finn.

            Finn has already turned back around; gaze silent on the empty playground, hands hanging between his legs. Poe decides to wait, reaching for Finn’s hand to let him know he’ll be there for when he needs him.

            Finn doesn’t let go.

            He clings tight.

            It might have been minutes, hours even, before Finn even speaks, voice deep and raw with sadness.         

            “I never wanted either of you to meet my past.”

            Poe startles, but softens his look while Finn continues to look straight ahead at something only he can see.

            “It was going to happen,” Poe says, “they’re jerks, but Rey and I could handle them-“

            “It’s not that,” Finn interrupts, “I never wanted to protect you or Rey from them.”

            Poe quirks a brow, but continues to prod: “Then what did you want?”

            “I-I wanted,” Finn gulps, “I wanted to protect _myself_. Protect the image you two have of me: to make sure you didn’t see me like them or… or like this.” He sniffles, swiping at his face with his other hand, “I guess that wish is out the window.”

            “Finn,” Poe says, “that’s okay. Rey and I don’t think any less of you. Those assholes are just that: assholes. Their opinions are crap, literally.”

            “So my parents are assholes too?”

            Poe stops, again careful of what to say next. “Only,” he stutters, “only if you think they are.”

            “Oh no, they are,” Finn responds bitterly, letting Poe release the breath he didn’t know he was holding, “don’t feel bad on my account. They obviously don’t feel bad talking about me.”

            “Listen,” Poe continues, “you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped. If they can’t accept that you’re gay-“

            “But I’m not though.”

            Finn startles Poe again, but this time he doesn’t feel good about it. He furrows his brow, dread locking in his stomach. “You… you’re not?” Poe asks, “but-but what about…?” He starts to let his grip slack.

            Finn, realizing what he said, finally turns to face his boyfriend, keeping Poe’s hand firmly in his.

            “No, no, this is still a thing,” Finn reassures, “this is… the _best_ thing. It’s just… I’m not gay… I’m bi.”

            “Bi?” Poe tests the word on his mouth, “Thank God. For a second there, I was almost sure-“

            “I would never, never in my right mind, want to let you go,” Finn reassures, bringing a smile to Poe’s face and somehow, to his.

            “So,” Poe says after a small beat, “they kicked you out because you were bisexual?”

            Once again the dark storm cloud comes to rest over Finn, but the past doesn’t soak him to the bone like it did before: maybe because he has Poe with him. He hopes that’s the case.

            “Yeah,” he answers, kicking the sand beneath his feet, “it… it wasn’t a pretty day.”

            “Do you,” Poe continues, “want to talk about it?”

            “Yeah,” Finn affirms, “I _actually_ do.”

            “At first, I always thought I only liked girls, it was what I was exposed to: growing up in a sheltered home. I never saw anything different, was never allowed to. Was always taught that anything like… _that_ was sinful. I didn’t know any better. So I did what I was told, like a soldier, and liked what I _thought_ I was supposed to like. You wouldn’t believe it, but when I first met Rey I had _such_ the puppy crush on her.”

            “Really?”

            “Really. Thankfully, she set me straight, oddly enough. In fact, it was the first time I ever learned about another sexuality than hetero: asexuality. Rey explained how she wasn’t interested and would never be, and I was thrust headfirst into the cold pool of reality. She actually helped me expose myself to how life was really lived. My parents didn’t approve, but they could not stop me. They thought she would corrupt me… and in a way, they were right. She was the one who helped me realize what I am…”

            “What happened?”

            “Well, as I said before, I always thought I just liked girls. There was no evidence that proved the opposite. But then, one day, she brought me to a charity car-wash-a-thon to get her dad’s car cleaned. We stepped out for a bite while we waited for the car to be finished. But when we returned it was still being worked on and this one guy… I don’t know whom, was leaning over the hood, scrubbing slowly with his sponge, with his ass firmly in the air. I don’t remember being so… _turned_ _on_ in my life. I felt so good… but then so wrong. I had to get away, I told Rey I had to leave immediately. I didn’t see her for two weeks while I mulled things over, trying to figure out what happened. When I told her, well, she sat me down and explained what it meant. I cried, and she helped me through it. It took a bit longer to tell my folks… but when I did-well, you know…”

            Finn trails off, looking back at Poe, who for some reason is silently giggling.

            “Hey,” Finn calls him out, “if I wanted to be laughed at I would have stayed with my former classmates!”

            “Sorry, sorry,” Poe tells him, “it’s just… what was the guy wearing at the car wash?”

            Finn thinks back, memory foggy. “A white tank top,” Finn recalls, “and these tight jean shorts with-“

            “With the Lucas High logo on both pockets.”

            Finn looks at the smiling Poe with wide eyes.

            “No…”

            Poe nods quickly, “Yep. That was me!”

            Finn shakes his head: “I can’t believe it.”

            “Believe it,” Poe tells him, “Your future boyfriend was the one who caused your force to awaken!”

            Finn chuckles, shoving at his boyfriend, which causes his swing to teeter and because of their joined hands, Finn’s to move as well.

            They let their laughter ring loud for a moment before settling back into a comfortable silence.

            Finn breaks it: “What about you?”

            “Hmm?” Poe asks, “What about me?”

            “How did you know you were into guys?”

            Poe taps his finger to his chin, making a show of thinking back into his past. Something Finn wishes he could do with such ease.

            “Probably when I was six,” Poe announces, “I was never really into girls, so it came to no one’s surprise when I was watching Indiana Jones and declared I wanted Harrison Ford to be my husband.”

            “And your parents?” Finn asks, dreading the response.

            “They laughed,” Poe says, “and reminded me of that moment when I was thirteen when I said I was more into Jacks than Jills.”

            “Must have been nice,” Finn sighs, “to have grown up in a family like that…”

            Poe sees the frown return to his boyfriend’s face, and grips harder at his hand.

            “Hey, look at me,” Poe says, and Finn does, “just because your parents don’t like who you are doesn’t mean you don’t have a family who loves you.”

            “That’s paradoxical,” Finn mutters.

            “No, I mean,” Poe starts, “the family that bore you doesn’t have to still be your family. There’s also the family you _choose_ : Rey… her parents… me.”

            Finn turns to look Poe in the eye and can tell he means what he says. He might not be able to say the words now, but Finn can see it in the eyes how much the other teen truly and deeply cares for him. Finn leans towards Poe.

            “Yeah,” he agrees, “I guess you’re right.” Then, he kisses Poe right there, soft and sweet, pulling away with a small “Thanks.”

            “I mean it,” Poe declares, “we’ll always be there for you, to help you through thick and thin, good times and bad. And all those other people, from your past, well… they’re just noise. You got to block them out.”

            Finn stares at him: “It’s going to be hard.”

            Poe smiles confidently: “I know, but again, you won’t be doing it alone.”

            Finn returns his smile, “You’re right.”

            They sit there for a while, enjoying each other’s company. Finn and Poe swing quietly, hands still enjoined, while they let what happened earlier roll off their backs and just enjoy the moment.

            The sun starts to set, when Poe gets up, tugging Finn along with him.

            “Alright,” he says, “we should probably get going. Besides, we still need to find Rey-“

            “Don’t bother.”

            The duo turn to see a frumpled Rey standing behind the swing set. Her hair is still mussed, and the sweat has dried along with other various stains on her clothing. The ball from before is under her armpit, and she casts a knowing yet bored glance at the two.

            “Rey!” Finn squeaks, “What happened?”

            “Well, while you two were busy engaging in something sappy,” Rey moves forward, “I decided to teach those punks what happens when they mess with my best friend.” She juts her other arm out, fixing her fist to her hip, and curls her lips into a victory smile.

            Poe takes her in, and catches something on her less than pristine white tank.

            “Is that blood?”

            Rey looks down.

            “Not mine,” she shrugs, before turning to Finn, “come on, I called my mom and asked her to whip up something nice for dinner, and that you were coming-“ she turns to Poe, “the _both_ of you.”

            Finn smiles, feeling the warmth in his heart spread, like the sun was instead coming to rest inside of him instead of the other side of the planet.

            “Well, I’m not saying no,” Poe answers, “Finn?”

            Finn looks between the two, and for a minute can’t believe how lucky he is. How fortunate he was to find a family so fast even after losing his first one. How amazing it is to have a best friend as strong and kind as Rey, and a boyfriend as understanding and compassionate as Poe.

            But then he thinks of his first family, of the First Order, and the usual chilling fear and anger is no longer as present as it was before. Instead, all he feels is sadness that these people can’t value others because of simple differences. But, he does not focus on that for long, returning to the moment, returning to the heat of life.

            “Yes,” he answers, “I’d love to.”

            He swings his arm into the crook of Rey’s, and with his other hand still in Poe’s he leads the two out of the playground.

            And towards home.

**Author's Note:**

> Well? What did you think?  
> Kudos if you like and comment if you have anything positive to say (I feed off of positive reinforcement)


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